Starter starting back up.

Welcome back, Starter jacket!

Bogut's back, and turning the West upside down.

Why isn't it t-shirt time?

Why do players who wear t-shirts under their jerseys drop the look before entering the NBA?

Is it against the league's dress code for some reason?  Do players get made fun of if they wear something with sleeves?  I just don't get it.

Daye's arms look are twigs with or without something cover them.

Personally, I think it's a good look.

Rondo has a torn ACL.

Word was just given by Doris Burke that Rajon Rondo, one of my top three favorite players to watch, tore his ACL.  This is truly a tragedy.  He's as big a dick as you can find in the league, but he is a wizard with the ball and really loves to get his teammates involved, something that many of today's point guards couldn't care less about (looking at you, Westbrook).

My other two favorites are healthy D-Wade and Derrick Rose.  All of these guys have had big injury issues, and two have now torn their ACLs.  I guess there's a correlation between excitement and injury.

Get well, soon, Rondo.  The league isn't as fun without you.

Update: ESPN article about the injury.

Ranking the shooters from "Gunnin' for That #1 Spot": 8 through 6

Gunnin' for That #1 Spot is a 2008 documentary made by the Beastie Boys' Oscilloscope Laboratories.  Directed by Adam "MCA" Yauch (R.I.P.), the film focuses on eight promising young ball players, following them in their preparation for the Boost Mobile Elite 24 Hoops Classic at Rucker Park.  Now that all of these players have been in the NBA at some point, let's take a look at them, and rank 'em from least to most successful.

8. Donte Greene.

Greene gets the bottom spot because he is the only player of this bunch who isn't currently in the NBA.  He played for the Sacramento Kings last season, and was moderately productive in sporadic minutes--his per 36 averages of 13.2 points, 6.2 rebounds, and 1.3 blocks are respectable, but his career 40% shooting leaves something to be desired.  He started just 7 games in the lockout-shortened season (21 the season before, and 50 before that), so it's apparent the Kings gave up on him, believing he would never pan out and wasn't worth their time.  Judging by his current unemployment, the rest of the NBA agrees.  He would come cheap though, and he's only 24 (25 in February), so I wouldn't be surprised to see him back in the league sometime soon.  Until then, he's stuck at the bottom of this list.

7. Lance Stephenson

Lance has yet to do anything spectacular, but he's helped by the fact that he's only 22 and is starting consistently this season.  His 47% shooting is impressive, but the rest of his numbers aren't.  He's scoring 7.5 points, 3.5 rebounds, 2.6 assists, and 1.2 turnovers in almost 28 minutes per game this season, which means his per 36 numbers aren't much better.  Add in his off-court issues (he allegedly pushed his girlfriend down a flight of stairs), and he's not the most likable player or person.  He's young enough that he could certainly improve, but right now this seems like a fair ranking.

6. Jerryd Bayless.

The Arizona-native comes in at #6.  He's on his fourth team in five year, and he's hoping he can now call Memphis home, but his job there is far from guaranteed.  He plays on a great Grizzlies team and backs up a very talented Mike Conley, Jr., which is cool for him, but his numbers aren't astonishing.  He plays 18 minutes per game and averages 3.2 assists, 1.5 turnovers, 2 fouls, and 5.3 points on 39% shooting.  With all of the scoring options on his Grizzlies team--Rudy Gay, Zach Randolph, and Marc Gasol down low--his assists could certainly be better if he were a true floor general, and his 2:1 assist/turnover ratio is underwhelming.  He's showed glimpses of promise, but he's nothing to write home about.  For now.

Saturday Showdown: Sager vs. Frazier, Round 1

The weekend is here, and that means it's time for some fun.  The last, and best, day of the week is now home to the internet's soon-to-be biggest event: the Saturday Showdown!

Each weekend we'll pit two opponents against each other and let them duke it out for supremacy.  What they'll be battling over will be random, and there are no prizes, except for more virtual street cred than anyone can handle.  Let's get it started.

Today's match-up puts two of the most stylish NBA personalities in opposite corners of the ring, the wonderful Craig Sager in one and ol' Clyde Frazier in the other.  A battle of suits!  These men are known for their vibrant threads, so this will surely be a fierce fight, and one that will undoubtedly be revisited in future weeks.  But for now, let's settle on these:

1. Craig's powerful purple-ish paisley:

2. Clyde's chaotic cheetah-spotted cloth:

There you have it--two great options, but only one of these gladiators can come out on top.  So take it away, judges, which one of these suits suits you?

NBA Flashback!

Here's a small and a way-too-big Fleer basketball card ad from the early 90s that I came across while looking through a stack of old comic books.

This particular comic was Spider-Man 2099 Vol. 1, No. 1, from November of 1992.  A little fun fact for you all, this book featured the very first Latin American Spider-Man--this is a little piece of history, folks!  Now we just need to ask Robin and Brook if it's a good one, they'll know for sure.

Celebrities Wearing Stuff: Stephen Malkmus

This video has been around for a while, but Short Shorts hasn't, and it's good, so bear with me.

Yes, that is indie rock legend/guitar god Stephen Malkmus--member of Pavement, the Silver Jews, and the Jicks--wearing a Detroit Pistons cap.  And that's awesome.

It's neat to see someone as cool as Malkmus reppin' an NBA squad, but there is an unanswered question here: why is he wearing Pistons gear?  He's from Southern California originally, currently resides in Portland, Oregon, and admits to being a Wizards fan with a "crush on Caron Butler."  As far as I can tell, he has no association with the city of Detroit, so this hat doesn't make much sense.  I'm led to believe then, that the once-proud Pistons have become so bad that their current gear is already "vintage."  Malkmus is a very trendy and hip individual, so this theory kind of checks out.

Perhaps this was Detroit's marketing plan all along though--if they hit absolute rock bottom, they'll eventually be so untalked about that they become cool.  This realization would lead to hipsters all across the country--nay, the world!--buying and wearing Pistons merch and self-loathingly claiming to like the team, allowing Pistons management to tap into a whole new demographic.  Genius.

Or else I'm reading too far into this and Malkmus just liked the look.  Probably a more likely scenario.

Oh well, whatever the reason, it's still cool to see.  Good on you, Stephen.  And here's another video of him wearing that hat, showing it wasn't just a one time thing.  Enjoy.

Casting Call: Gregg Popovich

Seeking: incredibly classy older gentleman to portray one of the greatest coaches of all time.  Long-term commitment needed.  Must have white hair and ooze confidence.  Ability to communicate with native French speakers a plus.

Ideal candidate: Jean-Pierre Marielle, of The Da Vinci Code fame.

Home Improvements: New wood would be good.

Here's where we suggest possible changes that teams around the league could make to better themselves, be it through altering their uniforms, renovating their arenas, or whatever.  To start, let's work from the very bottom, and take a look at NBA courts.

For decades, the NBA has been dominated by a single court design: boring straight lines that interlock with each other, all pretty much the same shade.

While this is nice enough, there's not much to it.  It's drab, it's plain...it leaves you wanting more!  The Orlando Magic did their part to up the ante by adding in alternating vertical and horizontal blocks, and two-tone courts have recently made a splash, but it wasn't until just this season that the floodgates were really opened wide.

When the Nets moved from New Jersey to the beautiful Barclays Center in Downtown Brooklyn, they brought with them a herringbone-patterned court, and the rules have now changed.  Jay-Z, the Nets' part-owner, fought Commissioner David Stern for the right to use this new, unconventional design, and, lucky for us, he came out on top.

I was lucky enough to have seen this court in person, and man does it look nice.  Incredibly clean, very classy--it's a winner.  Hova's desire to find an alternative to the classic (i.e. boring) court pattern, and David Stern's eventual acceptance, would suggest that I am not the only one who thinks NBA courts are not living up to their potential.  The people have spoken, and they want hipper tiling.  Lucky for the other 29 teams in the league, I'm here, and I have ideas.

1. M. C. Escher-inspired tessellations

These intricate patterns would look incredible, with alternating dark and light finishes.  The first team to construct something like this will capture the artsy, high society-types--a huge market, I'm sure.  Additionally, both of the above examples have birds in them.  Add a larger beak, and you've got yourself a pelican, perfect for New Orleans' rebranding.  A team with a bird name, playing on a bird court, maybe even one constructed from bird's eye maple?  Wow, I'm cuckoo for this idea.  NEXT!

2. Honeycomb

With New Orleans abandoning the "Hornets" moniker, Charlotte is considering reclaiming their original name.  For fairness' sake, let's give these guys a makeover too.

This would likely take a super long time to construct, but it would be well worth it, because it would look sweet.  I guess I don't really know if hornets have honeycomb-shaped structures in their hives, but whatever, it would still be cool.  I can only assume the league would buzz about this court, and fans would swarm to see it.  NEXT!

3. Bunch of rectangles

I'm not really sure what this pattern is called, nor do I have a suggestion for a specific team that should adopt it, but someone definitely should.  A bunch of seemingly scattered blocks that together comprise a perfect block--it's poetic in a way.  I'm sold.

So there you go, NBA teams.  You've heard the cries of the people, and you have been given three suggestions for how to address these demands.  Call your carpenters, and let's get this going--you don't want to be left behind as this exciting new era in courts begins.

Docu-Must Sees: "Hooked: the Legend of Demetrius 'Hook' Mitchell"

Hook Mitchell is considered by many to be one of the most talented ball players to never make it to the NBA, and this 2003 film covers his tragic story.  Mitchell grew up in Oakland, and he balled with a number of guys who would later go to the pros, including Gary Payton, Antonio Davis, Brian Shaw, Jason Kidd, and Drew Gooden.  He was only 5'11"--if that--but his being an athletic freak allowed him to jump over anything in his path, from defenders to cars.  No one could slow him down, except for himself.

Despite his small stature and the high quality of his competition, Hook could more than hold his own.  His game was well-respected and he had all the tools needed to take him far.  Future Hall of Famer Gary Payton, a close childhood friend of Mitchell's, says in the following clip that "[Hook] was better than me, he was better than Jason [Kidd], he was better than Antonio [Davis], he was better than everyone."  That's two of the best point guards to ever play the game and a big man who survived in the league for 16 years--no easy task.  Certainly high praise.

Hook's incredible jams were becoming the stuff of legend, but after a series of bad decisions, not even they could keep his NBA prospects afloat.  Unable to escape the drug influences that were far too prevalent in his community, Mitchell's mind was clouded and he lost focus.  He let his addiction dictate his actions, and lost sight of his long-term dream of reaching the NBA.  He couldn't last on a college team, and was eventually arrested for armed robbery after attempting to hold up a Blockbuster.  Hook was sentenced to 51 months in prison, and his chances at making it to the Association escaped him for good.

Hooked is great.  It offers a fascinating look at an incredibly talented player who, like the majority of young ballers with dreams of making it to the NBA, never made it to the big time.  It is an entertaining watch for basketball fans interested in California streetball culture, but it can also serve as a harsh reality check for young dreamers.

Hook Mitchell was an incredibly gifted athlete who embraced basketball as an outlet and mastered the sport, and he had the luxury of growing up among other NBA-caliber players.  Despite this, he was unable to make it to the pros. There are thousands and thousands of kids out there setting their sights on professional athletics--working tirelessly in the gym, shooting jumpers for hours on end, carrying their high school teams to state championships, starting for D1 colleges--but for the majority of these kids, even some of the best, it won't be enough.  The NBA draft has just two rounds, which means there are 60 spots for all the players in the world.  That doesn't leave a lot of room for error, especially considering only a fraction of these players pan out and actually make rotations, and finding success as an undrafted player is exceptionally difficult.

A top-10 pick in 2006, Patrick O'Bryant played just over a season's worth of games.

While the Association's efforts at globalization over the last couple decades have made it easier for aspiring NBA-ers to find work in leagues overseas, these spaces are also limited, and the door has been opened for international players to come to the ol' U.S. of A.  Imagine all of the children--from inner-cities, rural farms, prep schools, small towns in Western Europe--who set their sights on becoming professional cagers, dreaming of finding wealth and fame and being able to provide for their families or live the luxurious lifestyles shown in the movies or on TMZ.  You never want to crush a child's dreams of hitting it big and attaining the elusive "American Dream," but isn't it important to be honest with them?  We hear the sensational rags-to-riches success stories of athletes like Michael Oher, but we aren't faced with the facts often enough: the odds of becoming a professional athlete are 24550 to 1.  These numbers are not promising, so you'd better have a backup plan.

For many though, sport is seen as the ultimate passage to unlimited wealth, an easy pass through life, and school is an afterthought.  This is all backwards.  Even if you're playing on a prestigious university's team--hell, even if you're a star--there's no guarantee you're going to be successful.  And here's where we get back to Hook.  He was a truly special player, and it didn't work out for him.  Drugs got in his way, but it can take a whole lot less than that to derail someone's rise to stardom.  One missed meeting, a few failed tests, a run-in with the law, troubles with anxiety, a twisted ankle during an important game.  Heck, I'd bet one or two missed shots has cost at least one person out there an opportunity to take their career to the next level, whether they know it or not.  Becoming a professional basketball player is difficult, and it's important to face this fact, even if it's not the most comforting thing to hear.  For this reason alone, Hooked: the Legend of Demetrius "Hook" Mitchell is worth watching.  Add in the fact that it's entertaining, well-made, and has cameos from Kidd and Payton and friends, and you've got yourself a winner.

Two of Oakland's lucky ones.

Watch Hooked, get hooked, and love it.  Just be sure to stay grounded.

Buy the movie here.

"Ain't no shame in my game."--Charles Barkley

"Just for the record I get other things waxed too."

How can you not love Sir Charles?

Where my braids at?

At the turn of the millennium, braids and cornrows were at the peak of their popularity, and they were all over the NBA.  The hairdos (is there a hipper word for this?) could be seen on pretty much every court on any given night, and the look's poster child was Allen Iverson.  One of the flashiest pure scorers in the history of the league, A.I. carried the Philadelphia 76ers' scoring load on his back, and he did it in style.  The intricate and ever-changing designs that graced his cranium were truly works of art, arguably as impressive as his crafty ball-handling and effortless drives to the basket on the court.

Iverson's braids helped to bolster his image as a tough guy thug (an image he openly embraced, or so it seemed), and the league caught notice.  A.I.'s emergence as a dominant and possibly even frightening new force helped to usher in a new era in NBA fashion, one that was embraced by all walks of basketball life.

Everyone wore braids back then, from blossoming stars:

To role players:

To championship starters:

 

To guys who legitimately like to fight:

But then, one fateful night in February of 2009, everything changed.  Allen Iverson, the same man who brought braids into the limelight, ruined everything.  Right before the 2009 All-Star game, Iverson, then putting up lackluster numbers as a member of a dysfunctional Pistons team, debuted a new look: a buzz cut.

A.I. abandoned his signature style, the look that helped make him famous, and his game suffered.  The one-time Superman looked more like Clark Kent both on the court and off, more Corporate America than basketball legend.  His decline could have just been the result of old age, but maybe there was more to it than that.  Perhaps Iverson was a present-day Samson, and his braids were the source of his incredible abilities.  Without them, his skills diminished, he drifted out of the league, and he became nothing but a memory.

This tragic fall from grace was enough to scare other players away from braids.  Guys like Bosh, Melo, and Rip followed suit, buzzing down to clean-cut crews (though Hamilton's decision to husk his cornrows was at least partly due to balding).  The look was so stigmatized that some youngsters, such as Brandon Knight, shaved their (awesome) braids before even going to college and entering the national scene.

Despite the downward trend, some players continue to fight the pressure from their leaguemates, including Ronny Turiaf and Michael Beasley (though Supercool Beas did give in and shave his head for a while), but this is only a fraction of the number there used to be, and it's just not the same.  Other players are searching for alternatives, but Shumpert's hi-top fade, Swaggy P's pseudo-Jheri curl, and whatever the hell Bynum's got on his head don't have the same history or carry the same clout.  Cornrows are sowed from seeds of love, and they are as intertwined with basketball culture as each strand of hair on a braided head is with its fellow hairs.  At least I thought they were...

The point of this tangent is that braids are sweet, and they need to come back.  They can be an excellent outlet for personal expression, and with a healthy row of corn on your dome you can rub the fact that you've got a luscious, full head of hair into the faces of your balding opponents--the ultimate form of trash talking.  So let's bring it back, guys.  Recall the beautiful and moving lyrics of Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi, "Don't care about bald spots near your temples, leave me the C(ornrow)s and the B(raid)s, please!"  Or something like that.  Point being, people love braids, including Joni Mitchell, and you can trust her, because she was clearly ahead of her time.

Short Shorts is born! (The Pelicans, too.)

Hello, all, and welcome to Short Shorts!  Today, the 24th of January, 2013, is a day of new beginnings in the basketball world, as the New Orleans Hornets evolved into Pelicans, and this wonderful blog was born.  Cherish it.

What Short Shorts is and will eventually become is still uncertain, but here's to hoping it's entertaining.  While we will travel down many different avenues with future posts, for now let's get our feet wet and take a look at the Association's most recent news: the Pelicans.

Just about two hours ago, the Benson Family, who purchased the New Orleans Hornets from the NBA in April 2012, held a press conference announcing the name, color, and logo changes coming to the franchise.  While the Pelican may initially seem like an odd avatar for an NBA team (they're weird looking, let's be honest), they are actually incredibly fierce animals.  For proof, here is a video of a pelican gang eating some other birds.  Yikes.  Look out, Hawks!  This also makes sense because the Pelican is Louisiana's state bird, so that's cool.

What's more interesting, though, is the fact that they so beautifully tied the logo to their star player, Anthony Davis.

Just look at that eyebrow!  Is it not nearly identical to the white line that marks the wings in the team's new logo?  The new ownership's marketing is already top-notch, turning the signature look of its most promising young player into the team's mascot.  Benson definitely killed two BIRDS with one stone.  Truly savvy, this is going to be a team to be reckoned with.

The logo overall is nice enough, and the blue, gold, and red color scheme is solid.  The concern here is that the Pelicans will fall into the trap of sporting bland navy uniforms.  The turquoise and purple was unique, and it had its niche.  To make these uniforms work, they need to differentiate themselves from the rest of the jerseys in the league, which means a healthy dose of gold and red is a must.  There is a very fine line here though, as jerseys can quickly become gaudy, so hopefully the team can find a nice balance and make it work.  After seeing these logos, I'm hopeful.  Time will tell.

There we go!  One post down, got the jitters out, now we can really start cooking.  I'll keep writing, you keep reading, and we'll all be happy.  In the meantime, I'll leave you with this:

Thighs out, ya'll.  Hope to see you around.